Muddy Bird
by savannavansmutsmut
Summary: Written for Fandom 4LLS Geeky Edward is frustrated with a girl in the library that sits at his table everyday keeping him from chatting with his online best friend, DirtySwan. Beta: Dollybigmomma Banner maker: Jules Meghan
1. Chapter 1

**Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

**Title: Muddy Bird**

**Author: Savanna van Smutsmut from **

**Beta: Dollybigmomma from **

**Banner maker: Jules Meghan**

**Rated: NC-17 for sexual situations**

**Summary: Geeky Edward is frustrated with a girl in the library that sits at his table everyday keeping him from chatting with his online best friend, DirtySwan. **

That stupid girl was at my favorite table again, and I had to wait her out. It was the only quiet table at the library. Ironic, I know. Since it was a library, they all should have been quiet, but they weren't. They all had noisy foot traffic that passed them, except that one table. It was off to the side a little, so no one walked past it. It was the perfect place to take advantage of the free wireless network and send a note to my girl. I hadn't met her yet, but she was beautiful. I just knew it.

She was so dang funny, witty and smart. I'd had to cover my mouth with my hand more than once to keep from laughing out loud. She was perfect for me, and she'd been hinting at meeting me. We'd never mentioned any sort of physical characteristics. I didn't know why it had never come up, but it hadn't. We were always too busy ranting about the latest movie or comic, and occasionally, she'd mention a professor. I'd had Professor Banner last year, and she had him this year. She kept me up to date on his latest toupee disaster. That was the only hint I had that she was here. She'd given it away on accident, and when I asked about his runaway hair, she'd known exactly what I was talking about and confirmed he was her professor. She was on campus with me, I just didn't know where.

Since we'd confirmed we were nearby, and in fact on the same campus, we'd subtly batted around the idea of meeting. We'd mentioned campus activities, and we'd both attend them, but we'd never meet because we didn't know who the other person was. It was crazy, because we'd go and then we'd get online and talk about what we thought about the concert, game or party, but we didn't know if we'd passed the other person, or if we'd maybe sat next to them. I wondered about that sometimes, and I'd get frustrated, because I felt like I should have been able to just look at her and know it was her, but I couldn't.

I was about ready to stomp over to the brunette and tell her to move it. DirtySwan was always on at this time, and I'd always just miss her. We'd tried to catch each other, but we were never able to line up our times. I'd literally missed her by one minute on several occasions. It was maddening, and all because of this stupid girl who wouldn't leave my table! "Excuse me, would you mind finishing up and moving on?" I glanced at my watch and then back at her. If she'd just hurry, I might be able to catch her.

"Rude much? I'm actually busy, so you can just move along yourself." She waved her hand at me, like she was shooing a little kid away.

It was another ten minutes before she left, and I ran to the table, pulling out my laptop and quickly signing on. Sure enough, there was a message from my DirtySwan.

"_It looks like I missed you again. I can't believe it. This is getting so frustrating. I know we've kept to ourselves this whole time, and I've actually really enjoyed our anonymity. It's fun to have petty debates over fictional characters. By the way, I think Prof. Banner's toupee qualifies as a fictional character. Today it looked like Puss and Boots from Shrek. I don't know what the hell he was thinking when he put on that orange hairpiece. Maybe he's a football fan and trying to support our team. _

_Our school colors were the one thing I didn't look into when I picked this college. I really should've put that into the criteria. No one should be subjected to bright orange, NO ONE! I'll bet you're wearing bright orange right now, aren't you? Do you like showing your school spirit, Culling__Wraith__? I'll be at the football game on Saturday. I'll be the one in the orange shirt. Do you think you'll be able to pick me out? How about I give you another clue? I'll be the girl with brown hair in the orange shirt. Yes, I'm laughing, because there is no way in hell that narrowed it down for you. _

_Do you want me to narrow it down for you? I think it might be nice if we narrowed it down for each other, if you're interested. I'll be here again, same time tomorrow, looking for your answer. Maybe we'll be able to IM then. One of these days, we'll get on at the same time. Of course, if we met, then maybe we wouldn't have to worry about it. If you don't want to meet, I'm cool with that, too. I hope I didn't scare you off. I hope you still want to talk to me._

_DirtySwan, signing off for today, maybe I'll catch you tomorrow." _

By the time stamp on the e-mail, I'd literally missed her by two minutes. If I hadn't been in the library, I would've freaking screamed. I swear to god, if that girl was at my table again, I was going to just shove her off of it. I was not missing DirtySwan again.

DirtySwan wanted to meet, and I think I was ready to finally do it. It was time. I'd met the witty, silly girl online. I didn't care if she was overweight, shaved bald, missing her left eye, and her front teeth. She was too awesome to pass up.

"_DirtySwan, I'd like to meet you, too. I think it's about time we bit the bullet and did it. I know we've probably passed each other on campus a hundred times. So, I'm going to be adventurous. I'll be the guy with orange socks at the football game, and I'll wear my Tony the Tiger Frosted Flakes shirt. It shows a little school spirit with minimal orange factor. I hope my socks don't burn your retinas. I'll see you then. CullingWraith, signing out until tomorrow."_

The next day, that obnoxious impossible girl was at my table again. I couldn't miss DirtySwan. The game was tomorrow, and we would be meeting instead of emailing then. I hoped she'd give me another clue as to what she'd be wearing.

"Excuse me." I tried to be polite, I really did.

She looked up at me and sighed. "Really, dude? Every damn day you're here, rushing me off and away from this table with your half-assed 'excuse me.' There are six other tables in the library."

"Yes, but this one is quiet. I assume it's why you prefer this one as well."

"Look, OCD Man, I'm trying to catch a friend, and you rushing me doesn't help. I'm already set up here. Can't you go somewhere else?" She sounded like she was trying to be patient with me, but was failing.

I looked at the other tables and saw a few jocks roughhousing by one and a couple making out on another, while the others were similarly occupied.

She must have seen my dilemma. "Gah, fine, freaking fine, just give me a minute," she waved me off. That little hand motion was annoying. I wasn't a toddler or a dog. I had half a mind to hand wave her back. "Shoo, little girl, shoo, shoo," I wanted to say, but I didn't have the guts. Besides, I had been raised to be respectful to women, even if they pissed me off.

As soon as she walked away, I jumped on the computer at the speed of light and my heart sank. I'd thought for sure I'd catch her today. I was on a full ten minutes earlier than all the other times. I usually just missed her, so I should've been able to catch her before she went offline. I was crushed when I saw her little IM light was off, and I had another email from her in my inbox.

"_Sorry I missed you again today. I really tried to catch you. I'm sure I missed you by a mile. I couldn't justify keeping someone from their studying just so I could chat with you, especially since I'll hopefully be seeing you tomorrow. Your little line suggesting it was time we 'bit the bullet and just did it' could really be misconstrued as dirty. Be forewarned, I have pepper spray so we won't be 'just doing it' on the first meeting. I know I'm coming off as a little mean, but I'm a girl, and bad things happen to girls that meet strangers over the internet. I've heard stories, and I know you have, too. I'm really hoping you're not a serial killer. You come across as really nice, and I'm looking forward to meeting you. I won't pepper spray you unless you try and grab my boobs or any other feminine part of my body. I'm still a little nervous about the whole meeting you thing, but I'll give you another clue as to what I'll be wearing. Like your shirt, mine will also have a food logo. I really am excited to finally meet you. DirtySwan signing off." _

I did my best not to guffaw out loud at her "just do it" rant. I really wasn't even thinking of grabbing her boobs or anything else. I also caught that she'd said "on the first meeting" in her message, so was she alluding to maybe doing "it" on later meetings? It was kind of exciting and scary all at once. I was worried she'd be very disappointed in my appearance, and then the idea of "it" would be the farthest thing from her mind.

I tried to look casual as I stood kind of by the entrance gate. I didn't want to look like I was waiting for anyone, just in case she decided not to come. I didn't want to be humiliated by her backing out. I worried that she'd see me and never speak to me again.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Excuse Me." I looked up to see library girl.

"I'm sorry I come across as rude. I really don't mean to," I apologized, glancing around her.

"No, I get it. I really do." She started laughing at me, and I didn't know why she was. I didn't like it. I was worried DirtySwan would show up and see a girl laughing at me and leave.

"Can you please not laugh at me?" I implored. "I'm hoping a friend of mine shows up this evening."

Library girl smiled up at me and then leaned on the wall next to me. "A friend, huh? Can you tell me about this friend of yours?"

I frowned down at her. "She's my friend, that's all you need to know."

"Okay, I get it, you don't want to talk about your friend, but you did say 'she,' though."

"If you must know, she's who I'm always trying to catch, but just miss because you're at my table." I did my best to not sound rude. I hoped that if she knew she was interfering with me catching my friend, she'd have mercy on me and give me the table sooner.

"I think I know why you miss her."

"You do?"

She gave my shirt a tug. "Yup, CullingWraith, I know exactly why we're never on at the same time."

My eyes popped wide. "You're DirtySwan?"

She nodded her head, "You always just miss me, because you run me off from the table. I thought of suggesting we share it a couple of times, but you didn't seem like the sharing type."

I blushed, feeling horrible. "I'm sorry."

"It's kind of funny, actually. You always said that you knew we were walking past each other, and we were full-on talking to each other the whole time."

"I didn't mean to be rude. I was always missing you, literally, by only a few minutes, it was so frustrating. I just knew if I could just get on a little faster, I'd catch you."

She bumped her shoulder into my side. "It was never going to happen. No matter how fast you signed in, I would've already signed out to give you the table."

I was horribly embarrassed. "I'm really sorry."

She surprised me by grabbing my hand. I blurted out, "It's not your boob."

"I grabbed you, not the other way around, come on." She tugged my hand, pulling me away from the game.

"Where are we going? Are you the serial killer?" I asked worried.

"If I gave you my pepper spray, would you feel better?" She pulled it out of her pocket and held it out for me to take.

"No, that's fine, please don't spray me."

She frowned, but didn't release my hand. She led me over to a truck that was parked at the far side of the parking lot. She opened the tailgate and hopped in the back, patting the place next to her. "So, what's your real name, CullingWraith?"

"Edward Cullen."

"I'm Bella Swan, actually, Isabella, but I like Bella best."

"It's nice to officially meet you, Bella." I held out my hand for her to shake. She shocked the hell out of me when she yanked me towards her and kissed me. It took me a moment, but I did kiss her back. When she pulled away, my eyes were wide. "You don't do it on the first meeting."

She laughed, grinning widely. "It's not our first meeting." She straddled me and kissed my lips lightly. "I knew you'd be a sweetheart."

She kissed me again, and I was doing my best to keep my hands in safe places. I was nervous about the whole boob warning. When she pulled back again, I sputtered out, "Does that mean I can touch your boobs?"

She giggled and kissed from my neck up to my ear, "Yes, and all the other feminine parts that go with them."

Since I was no longer scared, I was hard as a rock. "Okay."

She smiled before she dived into my lips again and dropped her body down against mine. I was worried about her knowing I was hard for half a second, but she rubbed against me, making me moan. She was gasping and panting between kisses as she rubbed on me. I was going to cum in my pants if she didn't slow down.

I grabbed her hips nervously and looked down between us. She seemed to know just what my problem was. She jumped off my lap and held out her hand for me to take. "Did you drive?" she asked opening her truck door.

"No, I live across the street," I pointed to the apartment, and her eyes lit up.

"Show me."

She acted like she was in a hurry, so I hustled across the street with her and unlocked my door. We were barely inside when she kissed me again. "Where's your room?"

I pointed to my door, and she practically skipped to it. She jumped on the bed with a giggle. "Come on, Edward. I've been wondering about you for a while."

"You have?" I squeaked.

She pulled me down on the bed and straddled me again. "Yup, and not just you online, I _have_ been wondering about CullingWraith, but then there was this stiff guy at the library, always bugging me about the table. He was obviously in a rush every time, but he never yelled at me, always attempting to be polite. He was hot, and I wanted to loosen him up so he'd stop freaking out about the table." She kissed me hard. I felt her take my hands and start to push them up under her shirt.

I really looked at her shirt for the first time. "It's orange."

"Not bright orange. It's a retro Cheetos shirt, so it's a dull orange. See, just like I said, brown hair, orange shirt, food logo."

I wound my fingers in her hair, feeling how soft it was. "Brunette, beautiful brunette…" She captured my lips before I could say anything else about her. She was a lot hotter than I expected her to be. We kissed slow and easy. I really loved that she wasn't only into my computer personality, but the library guy, too. She was rubbing against me hard, panting out my name between kisses. She pulled off her shirt, shocking me. I almost came right then. Her lace-covered boobs were beautiful, but then she popped her bra off, and my eyes nearly popped out of my head. I didn't fully register what she was doing until my hand hit her breast. My eyes darted up to hers, wondering if I was dreaming, because I'd never heard of a girl grabbing a guy's hand and putting it on her boob before.

She leaned forward, kind of pinning it between us. She kissed my lips and then down my neck. She got to my shirt collar and tugged on it a little. I sat up, and she pulled me over so I was hovering over her. She took my shirt off of me and kissed down my chest a little. She bit my nipple, making me jump. "My turn," she pointed to her breast, and I nervously kissed them and moved my lips slowly to her nipple, half expecting her to slap me. When I got to her nipple, I bit it lightly like she had done to me, and she shoved my face into it. I gave it a light suck, just to check to see if she wanted me to, and she arched up off the bed, squeezing my face into it more. If my mouth hadn't been full of booby, I would have said, "Oh, wow!" I did the same to the other one, and then she pulled me up for a kiss that seemed a little wilder than all the others.

I felt her hands rubbing up and down my chest. She didn't give me a chance to feel self-conscious about it. Her fingers suddenly popped the button on my jeans, and I pulled back huffing, trying to catch my breath, as she unzipped them and shoved them down, along with my boxers, using her feet. My eyes were wide and shocked. I didn't think we'd get that far. I wasn't experienced with that sort of thing, and I proved it.

She grabbed hold of my cock, gave it a good squeeze and a few pumps, and I came embarrassingly fast all over her stomach. I was about to apologize, but she didn't give me a chance. She pulled me back to her lips. I was careful about leaving space between us, so I didn't get my mess all over me. I felt something move between us and looked down to see her using my shirt to wipe off her belly, all the while her lips were still moving on my neck, and then she turned my face back to hers to claim my lips again. My being a two-pump chump didn't seem to faze her.

She pushed me over on my back and kissed down me, until she was between my legs. My body was already getting excited again. Then she grabbed a mouthful of me, and I made a noise that sounded like my loose engine belt. It didn't seem to slow her. I gently placed my hand on her shoulder, not sure what the protocol was for this kind of thing. It didn't matter, though, because she was up and rolling a condom down on me seconds later. I looked up at her face, and her smile was beautiful. I couldn't help but smile back. If I was going to lose my virginity, I really did want it to be with her. I already thought of her as my best friend, lover would be the next step.

She slid down on me, and my eyes rolled back in my head as I shouted, "Holy crap!" I was panting like a madman. She leaned down and kissed me, moving my hand to her breast again. I liked those. I decided to enjoy the invitation, and it seemed to make her get louder and move harder and faster.

The little sounds she was making were making it difficult to hold back. I'd never held back before. I'd heard it was possible, but I just didn't see it. I was getting louder, too, and she sat up, like she knew my dilemma, and pounded down on me hard. Her boobs only got to bounce a few more times before I lost it. The way she cried out and her body tightened around me made me think she might have, too. "Oh, wow!" I cried out like a geek as I came.

She collapsed down on me giggling. "Jesus, that was good." She turned her face down and kissed my chest. I felt things slipping and knew it'd get messy. She slid down to my side and then grabbed the condom, tied it in a knot, and threw it into the trashcan like a pro ball player. Then she dropped her mouth on my cock, sucking my tender skin. I cried out again, and then she just flopped back next to me and smiled. "I didn't want to leave you a mess." She snuggled down into my side and pulled the blanket up around us.

All I could say was the night turned out way better than I'd ever imagined.

When I woke up the next morning, I was sure I'd had an awesome dream, until I opened my eyes and she was still there, draped over my body with a smile on her face. I couldn't believe it had really happened! I wrapped my arm around her and rubbed her back lightly. It seemed like the right thing to do.

She opened her eyes and smiled up at me, before she gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Where's your bathroom?"

"Across the hall."

She grabbed my robe from the back of my door, slipped it on, and headed for the bathroom, buck naked under the terrycloth. I got up, pulled on a t-shirt, and was stepping into my boxers, when she came back in, and she slapped my butt. "Your turn, it's open, but I think I hear your roommate moving around, so you better hurry." She took off my robe, standing there naked, and pulled me down for a kiss. I think I was still trying to get my brain past "naked girl."

She shoved me towards the door, so I did as she asked and took care of my morning routine. When I came back, she had on my Green Lantern shirt, and it hung down to the middle of her thighs. I noticed her panties were still on the floor and wondered what, if anything, she had on under the shirt.

"Kitchen, baby, I'm hungry. You need to feed me," she said, taking my hand and leading me to the door. I pulled her toward the kitchen, silently inventorying what I had to feed her.

When we got there, it didn't matter. She hopped up on the island, pulled me between her legs, and started kissing me. My hands moved up her thighs and answered the question, no panties, no nothing. My hands were moving up to her hips, when I heard Eric shout, "It's a girl!"

We looked over at him, and I pulled the shirt back down, covering her legs again.

"Edward," he whispered not taking his eyes of her, like he was scared to spook her, "It's a girl."

"Hi, I'm Bella, I'm Edward's…" she looked up at me, waiting for an answer.

"Yes, mine."

She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me down to her lips. "Yes, yours," she whispered before she kissed me.

I was getting lost in the kiss until Eric cried, "Holy cow!" I was getting tired of his interruptions, but I had a feeling he wouldn't go away anytime soon.

Bella looked over at him and smiled, "Nice undies, the Hulk is funny."

Eric looked down at his underwear mortified and ran stumbling off to his room. I was sure he thought she was making fun of him. She looked up at me worried. I knew she wasn't insulting my friend, we had discussed the Avengers at length, and she really loved the Hulk, thinking he was the funniest because of the whole Loki beating scene.

"It's fine, don't worry about him." I heard her stomach growl and stepped away from her to find some food. I knew I had bread and jam, so I could make her some toast. "Would you like toast and jam, do you have any food allergies?" I asked. I felt her arms wrap around me and her breasts press into my back as I opened the fridge. Her hand slid down, grabbing me through my shorts. I was hard, and she wasn't making it any better. She moved around me and knelt in front of me. My eyes widened as she pulled down my boxers while we were in the kitchen. I was grateful I was hidden behind the island and could hold onto it and the fridge door for support. I held on tight as she sucked me hard, my legs shaking, threatening to give out. I was grunting and huffing like a freak and came hard.

"Edward, are you okay?" I heard my other roommate, Ben, ask. Then Bella stood up and his eyes widened. He pulled out his inhaler and took a couple of puffs. "Was she…" he gasped, "in the kitchen?"

"He was hard, and I was hungry, two birds with one stone." She reached into the fridge and pulled out the jam, "So, breakfast?"

I was still shaky, but nodded my head yes and was able to get the bread for her.

"Edward…psst, Edward," Ben tried to get my attention. "She's a girl," he whispered pointing at her.

I nodded at him, "Yeah," I grinned comically huge. The Joker had nothing on me.

"Holy Moly, a real girl!" he hissed a little louder.

"Yeah, she's mine."

She looked over at me and smiled when I said that. She pulled me to her and kissed me again, "Yours."

I really liked it when she said that. I really liked her being mine. She made a stack of toast with jam and pulled me down the hall, back to my bedroom. I glanced back to see Ben's mouth hanging open wide.

We sat down on the bed, and she passed me some toast. I realized the name DirtySwan wasn't referencing a muddy bird like I'd always thought, but a naughty girl. "So, Bella, when you picked the name DirtySwan, you weren't talking about muddy birds, were you."

"Nope." She pulled the shirt she wore up over her head and dabbed a bit of jam on her breast. "No muddy birds, just a dirty Swan." She pointed to her sticky breast, making her point.

I smiled huge and dove in, ready to clean her up. It was time for breakfast with my girl, _my_ dirty Swan.


	2. Chapter 2

Muddy Bird

Bella's POV

It was my second day at college, and I was finally settled enough that I could slip away with my laptop, so I could chat with my friend, Culling Wraith. We'd met in a chat room, discussing the similarities of Avengers and Justice League. He wasn't pleased with my comparison. When other less friendly people tried to jump into our conversation shouting blasphemy, I suggested we take it to a private room. It made me giggle when I typed that, and I wondered if he'd think of it as an innuendo. He quickly agreed, because he felt it was important to properly educate me, and he'd been doing it ever since.

I'd always enjoyed comic book characters. Let's face it, most superheroes were hot, cartoon or otherwise. Though I really enjoyed the otherwise, that was for sure. Needless to say, Culling Wraith and I became fast friends. I found myself looking forward to chatting with him online and had done so most of the summer. We both had taken a couple of days off to get settled into our dorm rooms; otherwise, we spoke almost daily.

I went to the library, looking for a quiet place to use their wi-fi. The place was full of rowdy people. It felt more like a pep rally than a library. Someone needed to fire that librarian and get a ghetto one with a shotgun to keep the peace. A little glaring and shushing wasn't keeping that crowd under control.

I finally found one semi-quiet table. When I set up and checked my email, I was thrilled to find a note from Culling Wraith. He had two openings available during the day that would allow enough time for a quick chat or email session between classes. Once I compared notes, I realized I could only match up with one of his. I let him know that I'd be waiting for him online the next day. What followed for the next couple of weeks was frustrating to say the least.

If it wasn't for his fussy emails after missing me, I would have thought he was trying to brush me off. He'd missed every one of our chat dates, but would leave me emails for just minutes after I signed off. To make matters worse, there was an uptight guy who was always hovering around the table. He'd ask me rudely and yet politely at the same time to please let him have the table. I knew it was the only quiet one, I knew why he wanted it, but that didn't mean I wanted to give up waiting for Culling Wraith.

The first couple of times he asked, I thought it was annoying, but I realized he could be rather amusing if I paid attention to him. He had a tendency to dance around a little, as if he had to pee, but he didn't. I'd even pointed out the bathroom to him once, and he looked at me like I was crazy. He didn't have to pee, he was just insanely anxious to sit down at the table, and not just the table, but my specific chair. I tried moving to different chairs to see if he'd just sit down across from me to share the table, but he stood awkwardly, waiting for me to get up and leave the table completely. He still always sat in the middle chair on the left side of the table. Out of curiosity, I switched out the chairs from another table to see if he noticed it. He did notice something was different and sat in all the chairs to see which one he liked best out of the group and moved it to the middle spot on the left side.

He was an odd fellow to say the least, but his lanky body and messy hair were very enticing. He seemed wound so tight, that I wanted to do something to loosen him up. I contemplated leaving a nude photo of myself for him to find, just to see if he'd excuse himself to go "relax." Heaven knew he needed it.

"Excuse me," I heard him once again. He was always on the verge of exploding, but he somehow held back. He was surprisingly patient with me, considering how uncomfortable he most likely was. I considered telling him to take a hike, and even thought I could have possibly moved to a different table and concede to let Mr. Fussy Pants have his table indefinitely, but I kind of enjoyed our little interactions. One of these days, I was going to grab him by his sweater vest and pin him to the table. I'd show him how to loosen up and teach the rowdy freaks occupying the other tables in the library how to do it right and be quiet at the same time. It was a library after all.

After a month of frustrating misses with Culling Wraith, we'd gotten used to communicating through emails instead of chats. I had let it slip that my humanities teacher had several bad hair pieces. One day, it was some strange shade of green. When I mentioned the green hairpiece to Culling Wraith, he asked me if the teacher's name was Professor Banner. My heart jumped in my throat. I was worried he was stalking me for all of three seconds. It turned out that we happened to be attending the same school.

Once I was aware that we were at the same school, I talked to him more openly about the events going on. We attended the same frat party, me with some of my girlfriends and him with his roommate's cousin who was a member. We both agreed that the strobe light was a bit excessive, and that the vomiting football player had ruined the night. No one wanted to dance in vomit.

I could tell he was getting as frustrated as I was about the near misses. I'd swear I was on the verge of shouting out I was Dirty Swan in the middle of the music festival in the outdoor amphitheatre. I knew he was there, and I wanted to kick myself for not asking for some description or giving him a clue as to my own. We'd been corresponding for eight months. I thought it was time that we actually met.

Culling Wraith was a sweet, silly guy. He'd been patient with me when we'd first met online and a bit chivalrous as well, chastening the others in the chat room for being mean and swearing at me. He'd always been kind and polite as well. I knew he was a real gentleman, and I knew that no matter what he looked like, I wanted him. He was a rare breed of man, and I was dying to meet him.

I nervously typed out the email, asking to meet him; terrified he'd say no and stop writing me. My stomach was upset the whole next day, scared to read his answer. It was crazy how important he'd become to me, even if we hadn't actually met.

I was so relieved when I read his email agreeing to meet me, thrilled actually. I was in such a good mood that when Mr. Fussy Pants showed up asking for the table, I conceded early. I figured if I was really going to try things out with Culling Wraith, I should probably stop thinking about doing dirty things to Mr. Fussy Pants. I decided to finally give him the table for good, once I met Culling Wraith in person.

We didn't specify where we'd be meeting at the game. I was worried that I'd miss him again. I was hoping everyone would wear orange shirts, so his blue Frosted Flakes shirt would stand out. Imagine my surprise when I saw Mr. Fussy Pant fidgeting nervously by the front gate in said shirt. It all made sense. I couldn't believe we hadn't figured it out before.

I stood back just watching him bounce around, a nervous mess. I had to cool myself down, before I sprung at him. I couldn't believe my luck. I'd really hit the jackpot, both men in one adorkable package. I wondered how long it would take him to figure out it was me, when I approached him. The poor sweet boy was hurt when I joked with him. I wanted to kiss him and make it all better. I knew that was exactly what I was going to do.

Once I explained who I was, I dragged my awkward man to my truck, with plans to kiss it all better. The problem was, as soon as I got my lips on him, my libido exploded. I had to hold back from biting him and ripping his clothes off. I could tell he was inexperienced, and that made him all the more wonderful. I wanted him to be mine. I needed him to be mine.

I was ready to take him home with me, but thanked the powers that be that his apartment was across the street. Once I got him into his room, I tried to slow down. I knew I was scaring him, but I couldn't stop myself. I was so relieved when he finally got into it. I knew he'd be nervous about his performance, but I was ready to accept him, good or bad. I could always teach him. In fact, that was exactly what I had planned. I just needed to let him know he was safe with me. I was not a stranger to sex and knew I could make it good for the both of us.

I was right, and the look he gave me as I hovered over him squeezed my heart. He was such a beautiful man in that moment. I knew then I would do anything to keep him. I hoped he'd want to keep me, too.

Even with my prep work, I knew he wouldn't last long. I knew what I was doing. I knew what got me off, and I knew I'd build his confidence if I came, so I made sure I did.

His innocent exclamation clenched it for me in more than one way. I'd keep him forever if he'd let me, and I really hoped that he'd let me.

His roommates were funny. I'd swear they thought I was a unicorn or something, and if they took their eyes off me, I'd disappear. I had a couple of friends I knew would adore them. I'd have to talk to Edward about setting them up.

The fact that Edward called me his made my insides flip. I wanted to take him home or camp out in his room. I didn't want to leave, but I didn't want my crazy to show too much and have him freak out.

He told me he'd thought my handle meant muddy bird or something, but he finally figured out it was actually an innuendo. I proved it was an appropriate name…thoroughly.

When we came up for air and food, his roommates were dressed and eating at the bar. Ben froze, with his sandwich in mid-air and his mouth open. Eric had his lips puckered to take a drink from a water bottle, and they both just stared at me, which was silly. I was dressed.

I pulled Edward down, licked his neck and bit his ear, before I asked if he thought they'd like to meet a couple of my friends. "Yeah, I bet they'd like that. Then we could…you know…double date or something…"

"That sounds like fun. What do you say guys? Would you like to meet a couple of my friends?"

Ben's eyes widened, and then he quickly pulled out his inhaler. Eric fell off his stool and just lay on the floor with his water bottle pouring out over him, unmoving.

"Are they going to be okay?" I whispered.

He kissed my lips lightly. He'd gained so much confidence and had learned so much in just the few hours we'd spent together this morning. He pulled the bottle out of Eric's hand and helped him off the floor. Ben was still struggling to breath, his food abandoned.

"They're going to be fine. Tell us about your friends. It might help them settle down."

"Well, I was going to bring over Jessica Stanley and Angela Webber."

Ben looked like he was about to have a seizure. "Do we need to call 911? He doesn't look good."

I was shocked, when Eric spoke up. "He's had a crush for years…"

"On who?" I asked, because Eric stopped speaking as soon as I looked at him.

"Angela Webber, Ben has a huge crush on Angela Webber. They went to the same middle school for a couple of years, before she moved away."

"Oh, cool. Maybe she'll remember him."

"Not likely," Eric started, but again stopped speaking when I look at him.

Edward rolled his eyes and finished what Eric was trying to say. "Angela was a cheerleader, and, well, Ben was…" Edward shrugged, I was sure not wanting to say that Ben was a geek.

I whipped out my phone and brought up her number. She answered, moaning, "What the hell, Swan? Do you know what time it is?"

"One in the afternoon," I deadpanned.

"Oh."

"What are you doing? Do you have company right now, or would you like some?"

"What'd you find?" she asked perking right up.

"You ever hear of a guy name Ben…" I waved at Edward for his last name.

"Cheney."

"Do you remember Ben Cheney? You went to middle school together. He's my kind of flavor," I offered in a way that politely told her he'd be a nerd.

"Does he have big blue eyes when he takes off his glasses?"

I snatched them off his face and was hit full force with the big double blues. "Yup, that's him."

"I'm on my way, text me the address," she said eagerly.

I handed Ben his glasses back with a smile. "She remembers you, or your eyes, I should say. She sounded excited and is on her way over to see you."

I thought this would be great news, but it turned out it was cause for vomiting.

"Well, that's going to be a challenge. Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked Edward.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "He should be fine once he takes his anti-anxiety medicine."

"What about you, Eric? Are you up to meeting a girl?" I asked, and he stared at me dumbfounded.

I covered my face, totally frustrated, and then I heard Eric squeak out a yes. I guess as long as I wasn't looking at him, he could talk.

I pulled up Jessica's number and glanced over at Eric to see if he would give me any indication that I should stop. He just stared at me gap-mouthed.

"S'up, bitch?" was her usually greeting.

"Is your bed empty?"

I heard a moan and a thump, "It is now. What's up?"

"You know how I was meeting Culling Wraith?"

"Yeah, how'd that go?"

"So well," I moaned. "It turns out he's library guy."

"No shit!"

"I know, right? But that's not why I called. He has a couple of roommates. Angela is on her way over. She knows Ben. Do you want to meet his other one, Eric? He's shy, but I think he could talk to you, as long as you don't actually look at him."

"Text me a picture."

I snapped a pic of Eric staring at me gap-mouthed and texted it to her. "Did you get it yet?"

"Yeah, I just got it. He's got nice teeth. I'll bet he had braces as a kid."

"Do you want to come over and let him stare at you?" I giggled, and Eric's brow furrowed. He didn't know how much Jessica loved being gawked at.

"Yes, address please, and have them get us some lunch. I'm starving."

"Will do, see you soon." I hung up and handed my phone over to Eric. "Order us all some lunch. The girls will be hungry." He didn't say anything, but once I turned my back, I heard him talking.

Angela was first to arrive. Edward had settled Ben down enough to take his medication and get cleaned up.

She walked right in and scanned the room, zeroing in on Ben with purpose. He lifted his inhaler to take a puff, but she snatched it from his hand, sprayed it into her mouth, and then covered his mouth with her lips, forcing the mist into his lungs while they kissed. I'd swear it looked like Edward's eyebrows were going to shoot off his head in shock.

When she pulled back, Ben was still gasping, but with a huge smile on his face, and he made no move to grab his inhaler. He settled down pretty quickly, and she leaned in and whispered something into his ear. He blushed and nodded yes and led her down the hall to the bedrooms.

The food arrived before Jessica. Edward just passed a bag into Ben's room for him and Angela. When Jessica walked in, I pointed to Eric, and she grinned huge and wicked. "Oh, this is going to be fun."

"You should probably take it easy on him at first," I suggested.

She tipped her head to the side, assessing Eric once more. "I don't know, Bella, I think he just might be into the kinky shit I like."

His hands dropped to his lap, trying to hide his excitement, proving her point. She pulled a riding crop out of her purse and ran it down his cheek and chest. His eyes rolled back in his head, and he grunted.

"Looks like I got myself a new toy. Come along, little boy, it's time to get you cleaned up." She walked down the hall, with him following obediently behind her.

"Is Eric going to be safe with her?" Edward asked worried.

I pushed into his arms and pulled him down for a kiss. "She won't do any permanent damage and will make sure he likes it. As for Angela, I think she really likes Ben. She knew who I was talking about right away, and you saw how she greeted him."

"They did still have their clothes on when I gave them their lunch and were looking at some yearbooks."

"I hope it works out for them." I really did.

Eric came running out of his room in just his underwear. Edward looked scared for him for all of two seconds, but Eric wore a huge grin, as he rushed over to the counter, grabbing a bag of food off of it, and hurried back down the hall to his room.

"Jessica's a wildcard, but his need to please her will keep her happy for a while, at least long enough for him to gain some confidence with women. I think she'll be good for him."

Edward let out a deep breath and squeezed me tighter. "I sure hope so."

Things worked out for everybody. Jessica did give Eric confidence, just like I knew she would, so when she moved on, like she always did, he had no problem asking a new girl out. Speaking to them was no longer an issue, and Jessica had pretty much done a makeover on Eric. He was a hottie now, but still not as cute as my Edward.

It turned out that Angela had just as big of a crush on Ben as he had on her. It didn't take long for them to be joined at the hip and planning their wedding. Some might think it was too fast, but if you knew them, you knew it wasn't.

As for me and Edward, he was still my adorkable boyfriend that I adored. He didn't stutter or shake anymore, and he'd definitely learned all the sweet moves to use on me in the bedroom, but his shy side still came out once in a while. I could just eat him up, and I did eventually grab him by his sweater vest and take him on the library table.

When he met my father, he'd nervously rattled off his grade point average, major and his plans for the future, which included marrying me, all before my dad had said hello. Needless to say, my father wholeheartedly approved. Not that it'd matter if he hadn't.

Edward's family was another story. They were fiercely protective of him and were sure I was using him to copy his schoolwork or take his money. The thing was I didn't know he had money. He lived in a ratty apartment with two other guys and only ever had toast and jam at his house. He was two slices of moldy bread away from being a starving artist.

I didn't gain any footing with them until Thanksgiving. Oddly enough, it was when I wracked his brother in the balls. He was giving Edward a hard time, and it pissed me off. I was sure they would kick me out for it. In fact, Edward grabbed our coats, sure of it as well, but then his mother smiled and asked me to help her in the kitchen.

"Sorry about that. I guess you'll just have to depend on me and Edward for the grandkids," I said it so causally that I didn't even notice, until I heard a pan drop. Edward was across the kitchen, wearing a huge smile. I realized what I'd said and blushed so red I thought I'd give Rudolf's nose a run for its money.

He wrapped me up in his arms, kissing me softly. "You want to have a family with me?"

"You're too handsome not to reproduce, and with our combined brain power, they can take over the world."

"I don't think world domination should be our parenting goal," he mumbled against my lips.

We were lost in the kiss, when we heard a loud bang. We looked over to see his mother giggling and his father holding a pan that he had just smacked with a spoon. "Let's have dinner, before you work on the grandchildren."

It was New Year Eve at midnight when he proposed to me, and I said yes. We'd planned to get married after we graduated from college. Of course, that was quickly canned. After seeing Ben and Angela in wedded bliss, we didn't want to wait. So our senior year in college, we tied the knot. Though I'd planned to be a career woman for a few years, before we started a family, God had other plans. I happily gave birth to a Culling Wraith Jr., but we called him little Eddie for short.

Our lives turned out perfectly. At least I thought they did. It was five years after we met face to face for the first time and we were celebrating our anniversary.

Edward walked into the bedroom with a big grin, a silent baby monitor in one hand and a jar of jam in the other, "Ready to get cleaned up, Dirty Swan?"

"I'm always ready for you."

"I guess you're not a dirty bird anymore, you're my naughty Cullen."

"I think you've been the naughty one," I sassed.

"Yeah, what are you going to do about it?"

"Why don't you hand me that jar of jam and I'll show you."

And I did.


End file.
